Monday, August 31, 2009

Don’t Forget to Prepare for the Marriage, Not Just the Wedding

Guest post comes from nationally renowned author Sharon Naylor
Sharon Naylor is the author of over 35 wedding books and has appeared as a top wedding expert on Get Married With Colin Cowie, I Do! With The Knot, Good Morning America, Inside Edition, ABC News, and many more. She is the iVillage Weddings expert and blogger, a host of ‘Here Come the Moms’ at Wedding Podcast Network, and a contributor to the top bridal magazines such as Bridal Guide, Southern Bride, Brides, and more. Visit her at www.sharonnaylor.net to find her books and articles.


We know you’re mastering the art of planning your wedding – you’re organized, you’re dreaming up fabulous, beautiful ideas for your big day, you’re hiring the best vendors and staying close to your budget, but there’s something else – something HUGE – you need to work on now: preparing for life after the wedding.

Couples who don’t take the time to pre-think how they’ll handle such essentials as finances, housework, how they’ll split holidays with their families, when they’ll have kids, and more, wind up stunned and overwhelmed when they return home from the honeymoon and Reality hits them. Hard. What do we do now? They call it the post-wedding blues, and some people think the semi-depression that weighs them down after the wedding is just missing all the action and attention a wedding gets you. But a large part of post-wedding blues is a numbing fear that you now have to make your marriage work. You don’t want to be that couple, so here are the top 10 insights from my book Home From the Honeymoon: The Newlyweds’ Guide to the Celebrations and Challenges of the First Year of Marriage to set you on the right path to marital bliss:

1.Create a plan for your finances. Money is a top stressor for married couples, and the weight of financial pressure really takes a toll. So sit down right now to make a plan about your bills. Decide how you’ll divvy up your bill-paying. Will you each choose separate utility bills to pay, or will you split each bill equally every month? Here’s your marriage-saving mindset: Agree that you can change your bill-paying plan down the road if either of you finds you’ve chosen the Big Ones. Just knowing you’re not locked in, not trapped, and can co-create a better bill plan together later is the essence of a healthy partnership.

2. Decide on your bank account plan. Establish one joint checking account, but keep your own individual checking accounts so that you have your own money. It’ll be a comfort to know you keep your financial independence, that you do get your own play money. Set up a joint savings account for an emergency fund, too, which every financial expert says is crucial right now. Even if money is tight, stash a little something in there every month so that you have a fund for peace of mind.

3. Make a plan for household chores. Yes, that’s right. Laundry. Food-shopping. Dusting and vacuuming. Believe it or not, even if you’ve already lived together for a while, something strange happens when you get married and one or both of you gets hit with the ‘wife expectations’ or ‘husband expectations’ virus. Why is it always my job to do the food shopping? Because I’m the WIFE? It might sound a little nutty, but you’d be surprised at how this topic can throw the newly-married couple. So choose your tasks, and again, your marriage-saving mindset is that you can sit down in a few months and trade household tasks. You might find that your husband loves doing the food shopping because he’s quite the gourmand, and you’re happy to take over his task of doing the dishes every night. Great partnerships require flexibility and compromise.

4. Give positive reinforcement. When you compliment your partner in lots of ways, whether it’s on the great job he did with the food shopping or how you’re still thinking about how much he impressed everyone at your office party, you put the focus on the positives. We all get criticized a lot at work, so isn’t it fabulous to come home to a cheerful, compliment-giving partner? Your marriage-saving mindset: It’s all about how you make your partner feel. Compliments make everyone feel fabulous.

5. Establish your own, independent life. Even if you love each other to pieces and love being together as much as possible, it’s still super-important for you both to maintain your own identities, spend time with your friends, get back into your favorite hobbies and find new ones that you can enjoy without your partner. Newlyweds say they love spending time together, but when one partner is a bit too clingy, it can start to feel suffocating…and then they don’t want to offend their partner by saying so, and resentment builds, and so on and so on. Having your own life keeps you interesting, captivating your new husband when you show your excitement to learn a new skill or language, and you get that great welcome-home kiss when you return to him after a fun night out with the girls. As he will when he returns from his guys’ night out.

6. Establish a good relationship with your in-laws. We all have different in-law experiences. Some of us are blessed with awesome in-laws who have embraced us and make us feel loved and welcome from Day 1. And some of us….not so much. Some in-laws are troublemakers during the wedding plans, and some just have crummy personalities. We take the hand we’re dealt. For your marriage to start off well, you need to accept that holding grudges against his family is just going to stress him out. Complaining about his mom or his sister isn’t going to make you look very good. Brewing a family feud just hurts your marriage. So wipe the slate clean, try to find something you have in common with the in-laws, and know that a lot of brides start off with contentious in-law relationships and then over time grow to love them very much. It will take time, so start off with forgiveness now, move into a pleasant demeanor when you see them, and be patient as you build a foundation of a more positive extended family situation. Your husband will appreciate you making the effort.

7. Establish a healthier lifestyle together. You’re in a big time of stress right now, and stress takes a toll on your body and mind. When you return from the honeymoon, you don’t want to turn into that couple who just spends their free time watching TV – even if they’re cuddling – and ordering pizza delivery because they’re so wiped out from the wedding season. It’s a common scenario, couples gaining the Newlywed 19 because they just want to chill out. Establish a healthier diet, go for walks together every night, play basketball out in the driveway or at the park…play together, and get healthier together. Staying fit brings more energy and self-confidence, not to mention avoiding bad health problems in the future.

8. Tackle combining your households with a better plan. If you’re moving in together after the wedding, or moving to a new home after the wedding, you’ll face the daunting task of setting up your household with His stuff and Her stuff competing for available space and your décor wishes. It can be immensely stressful to see all of your stuff replaced by all of his stuff – even if his stuff is fabulous Pottery Barn furniture you love, and yours was a bit less fabulous. Your marriage-saving mindset: Don’t throw anything out for six months. Your framed artwork, your coffee table, your wine rack…stow it all in your basement or attic if you can, so that you know you have the option to switch something of yours back into your décor plan. And the same goes for his chair, his barware, and whatever else didn’t make the cut. At a later date, when you’re a bit more relaxed in your marriage transition, then you can donate or sell anything you can live without.

9. Make intimacy a priority. Besides sex, we’re talking intimacy like giving each other a foot rub while you’re watching TV, or just coming up behind him while he’s drying the dishes, telling him he smells awesome, and kissing him on the neck. Just little intimate moments that make each other feel fabulous.

10. Don’t take on anything huge for a while. Some newlyweds are so excited to get started on their married life that they dive right into a home renovation or big landscaping project, or they adopt a puppy immediately. It’s part of the picture of married life they’ve always had, and it’s going to be so much fun! But when reality hits and that home renovation has your house in a shambles, covered with dust from the contractors’ work, and you can’t use your kitchen for months, and the puppy is howling through the night for weeks, that’s a lot of stress. Way too much stress for newlywed life. So just hold off on any big projects or commitments for a few months and just enjoy being together. Just enjoy celebrating those fun married Firsts like your first dinner party, the first time you get to see your wedding photos, the first friend’s wedding you attend as a married couple, and more. You have a great life ahead of you, a great partnership, and a great marriage to grow and nurture for as long as you both shall live…

Follow Sharon Naylor on Twitter!

Want a FREE copy of Sharon's latest book? Stop by her website and then leave a comment here on Bride Tide by SATURDAY, September 12th, 2009 (midnight CST), telling us which one of Sharon's 10 tips above you feel is the most important, and you'll be entered for a chance to win your own copy sent directly to you. We will choose one random winner. Please, one comment per person. Good luck!

Caroline Castigliano - Lauren

Caroline Castigliano - Lauren
This is a very elegant new/sample Caroline Castigliano designer gown made of Italian silk purchased from the Caroline Castigliano shop in Bath. It is very light to wear and very stunning.The bodice is fitted to enhance the shape and the waist is gathered to give it extra detail. The skirt is A line so very classic, but also has a lovely train which you can wear over your arm or hook up at the back to bunch it up which adds a small ruffle.
View the original advert on The Dressmarket

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Everything Wedding Blog Carnival: #3

Everything Wedding Blog Carnival: #3
Welcome to the 3rd edition of the Everything Wedding Blog Carnival! Our wedding carnival is a monthly blog carnival that showcases outstanding posts about bridal and wedding information from both seasoned and new bloggers throughout the month of August. Various bloggers take turns hosting the carnival to create a wonderful wedding resource that can be enjoyed by everyone. If you would like to host an upcoming edition of the Everything Wedding Blog carnival, send us a note at info@bridetide.com. Thanks and congrats to everyone who was included!

Everything Wedding Blog Carnival: #3This {lovely} Poolside Dessert Table in the Hamptons, designed by the one-and-only Amy Atlas, takes a apple green and taupe color scheme to a breath-taking level.

Add some vibrant and visual delicacy to your wedding table with these citrus and fruit centerpieces found over at Paper Olive.

The Southern Weddings Blog dishes out some table sign inspiration that is sure to have your guests notice every last delicious detail.

Everything Wedding Blog Carnival: #3Abby from Style Me Pretty featured this real wedding back porch nuptial complete with fishing poles and elegant veils. Too cute!

Sonya + Davey's California Farm Wedding lights up Green Wedding Shoes with a collection of colorful flowers to die for.

The Brooklyn Bride showcases the real wedding of Christina + Jack where hanging plants become organic chandeliers in a beautiful bridal background.

Feast your eyes on this Shabby Chick Wedding courtesy of the gals of The Wedding Chicks. Caution: you might just fall in love with the dessert table display!

Everything Wedding Blog Carnival: #3Being the best man at a wedding is a great honor as well as a big responsibility. Thankfully Christy from June Bug Weddings breaks down some best man responsibilities that every wingman should be familiar with.

Before you choose who will capture the moments of your big day, make sure you check out these 25 questions to ask your wedding photographer courtesy of Rachel at the Austin Wedding Blog. Such a huge help!

Katie from Wedding Paper Divas shares 8 wedding dessert ideas ripe with divine presentation and appearance. The Creme brûlée looks delectable!

Ever heard of a master timeline? LA Style Unveiled shares a entertaining story about the aspects of popular bridal timeline details and why a wedding planner can often save the day.

Craig from Cutting Edge DJ gets down to brass tacks regarding the ongoing saga between the iPod vs. the wedding dj. Lots of good info here!

Are you having guests or an audience at your wedding? WedbyKez takes a fresh look at your invited guests and how to make them feel as loved as you are on your wedding day.

Bridelines has a great post that gives some maid of honor advice worthy of sending directly to your MOH to ensure a trouble-free celebration.

So, what wedding gift do you get for the couple that has everything or wants nothing? These tidbits of advice from Gretchen at MyWedding.com will get you on the right path and spark some fab ideas.

With six months left until her big day, Relentless Bride shares some dress shopping lessons that will surely help any planning bride-to-be.

The honeymoon shouldn't be all about submitting to the whims of one partner, it should be a "we" thing. The Man Registry weighs in on how to make a "me" list a "we" list. Compromise never felt so good!

Are Cupcakes: Tired or Trendy? Take this poll put together by Khris at DIY Bride and vote whether you think wedding cupcakes are are hit or a miss. You just might be surprised.

Do you know the Five W's of the Wedding Rehearsal? If not, hop on over and read this awesome post by Aletha at Pearls Events Blog and learn these essential elements of a seamless wedding rehearsal.

Every planning bride knows that there is still work to be done AFTER the wedding, and Becky from the Weddingistas gives a good outline of what is traditionally expected from the married couple when returning home from the honeymoon.

Amanda from SwoonOverIt shows how any couple can involve their beloved pets in a wedding without sacrificing an ounce of beauty or stress. They can even accent your theme!

These 4 key factors for choosing music for your wedding processional from Dave at Wedding Music Unveiled discusses ceremony details affecting how long your processional needs to be and how to plan accordingly.

Brush up on your Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette courtesy of Bridella. This is a helpful outline of rehearsal dinner etiquette questions all couples should read.

This list of Top 10 Over-Played Wedding Songs put together by Groom Stand is a classic tribute to those melodies and tunes that seem to pop up at every wedding. Yes, the Electric Slide is included.

Always a bridesmaid helps brides to answer the question, "Where are the envelopes going to go?” These beautiful money box ideas keep this fiscal scenario classy and in line with your wedding decor.

Ever wonder Which leg gets the wedding garter? Julianne Smith lays it all out on her blog to make sure you put your best foot forward.


Everything Wedding Blog Carnival: #3OnceWed takes the time to show us a step-by-step process of making DIY Vintage Book Wedding Table Numbers that can be implemented into your overall wedding theme to spice up that tablescape flair.

Christina from Intimate Weddings shows us how to create these DIY hanging flower mason jar baskets that allow you to add a homemade touch to your wedding flower decor. {Swoon!}

Some people are just too creative! Take for instance these Save the Date cards made from recycled cereal boxes brought to life by Sara at Offbeat Bride. Too cool!

Everything Wedding Blog Carnival: #3If your looking for a Mad Men vibe for your groomsmen, look no further than Miss Chick's post over at Wedding Bee that features the hippest styles for this exact theme. Love it!

We absolutely love these Hand-painted wedding invitations shared by the uber-talented Krisy of Momental Designs. This post explains the painting process and gives a peek into the world of how each and every invite at Momental Designs has been hand-painted since 2003!

If a traditional wedding isn't your style, Silvia at the Beau-Coup blog serves up some awesome examples of Rock 'n Roll Wedding Themes that will dare to inspire any bride to do a little something on the edgier side.

The lovely Kelly Oshiro tempts your tastebuds as much as your eyes with her delish Red & Blueberries inspiration board that would perfectly compliment any splendid farm wedding motif.

These eye-catching and stylish Wedding Thank You Notes from Jaime at It's a Jaime Thing motivate and inspire you to take an invigorating look at the task of sending out your thank you blessings.

What list would be complete without a Moroccan Wedding inspiration board! Brenda nails this savvy international theme on Brenda's Wedding Blog by creating this gorgeous template of vivid and soft hued colors.

You'll love the romantic, feminine, sexy, and defiant collection of Marie Antoinette inspired bridal gowns collected by Jessica at A Foxy Wedding. Each an everyone oozes with smart sophistication!

Chrissy from The Perfect Palette takes the layout of a log cabin wedding and brightens it up with her latte and shades of yellow inspiration board. I can't stop staring at the picture-perfect lemon sorbet treats!

Express yourself with colors on your wedding day by visiting this Thoughtfully Simple blog post that lists the specific meanings or symbolism of each possible color you might choose. Truly interesting!

Liene from Think Splendid takes the time to blog about The day Martha Stewart Emailed and explains how a little unexpected compliment can go a long way! Absolutely inspiring!

Everything Wedding Blog Carnival: #3Mindy Howard, Founder and Chief Twit at TweetMyWedding.com, has created this wonderful resource that absolutely caters to every planning bride-to-be. Check it out!

If you haven't checked out Bridal Tweet you are truly missing out. This wedding community is growing fast with over +3,000 brides, wedding vendors, & wedding bloggers contributing and sharing to create a great bridal hub!

We love the fact that Broke Ass Bride has created the newly launched Bride$hare! This social site was specifically created to help you to save some major money and time by inspiring trading and sharing amongst it's bridal members. Awesome!

There is so much great info and advice found over at The Wedding Planning Audiocast! From wedding outlines, to bridal fashion, this site has got you covered. Break out those headphones and plug into some professional expert opinions!

Everything Wedding Blog Carnival: #3
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Temple of Groom TV appearance

As a male in the wedding industry, I can tell you that by far, we are the minority. Only a handful of groom-centric wedding blogs exist and I often find myself visiting those blogs on a regular basis just to solidify the "band of brothers" mentality that we have created in the bridal space. On that note, one of my favorite "groom" bloggers, David from Temple of Groom, had his first in-studio TV appearance over the weekend so I wanted to share it with everybody just in case you missed it. Great job David!







Here are a few more great groom sites that every guy should check out:

Enjoy!
rudy bridetide

Bridezillas on the Loose!

Bridezillas on the Loose
Make your friend the star of a Bridezillas rampage! Send your friend a personalized newscast where theyll appear as the main subject of a Bridezilla's rampage. It's fast, easy and fun! Get started by clicking here!

Bridezillas on the Loose

Ritva Westenius

Ritva Westenius
100% Silk Bodice corset style Ritva Westenius wedding dress. Bodice features subtle embroidered flower design. Full skirt.
View the original advert on The Dressmarket

Vintage Wedding Dresses

Vintage Wedding Dresses
Vintage Wedding Dresses
Vintage Wedding Dresses
I was chatting with Ann last week and she was telling me about her idea of buying a vintage wedding dress for her up and coming wedding. Now I must say that I am completely jealous of his girl because she has the waistline of the model and is as thin as they come, she’s the sort of girl that looks amazing no matter what she is wearing. It’s funny I really thought that she was more of a late this designer gown type of person but I’ll be honest she does have a load of taste and if she’s going to be a bride she’s going to decide on what she wants for first style that was sued for a perfect.
Vintage Wedding Dresses
Vintage Wedding Dresses
As we got chatting she asked me if I would go along to a few stores with her so she could actually then get a second opinion from somebody who has been in too wedding dresses for years. At one stage I did own my own company that made all different types of dresses I still make them every now and again but not as much as I used to because I now have other interests. But, I guess I still have a keen eye for style is of wedding gowns and I can tell if somebody is suited to a long dress with sleeves one that may have a nice neckline or sometimes that may be off the shoulder and strapless.

I was meeting Ann on a Wednesday afternoon and she had already made a number of appointments with various bridal stores. The first or we went into had any beautiful Victorian dress that had some really unique features. To be honest it’s something I hadn’t seen before and because Ann has a beautiful tan the white dress simply looked stunning.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Sincerity - 3465

Sincerity - 3465
Taffeta beaded sweetheart neckline, draped A line gown with a beaded motif at hip. Lace up back and chapel length train.
View the original advert on The Dressmarket

Friday, August 28, 2009

Alan Hannah - Isadora

Alan Hannah - Isadora
A beautiful ivory, thai silk wedding dress with a lace-up back. The bodice is beautifully rouched across the waist and into the skirt, with a very pretty neckline, embroidered and decorated with pearls and crystals. This dress is made on a special bodice, created specifcally for the curvier woman.
View the original advert on The Dressmarket

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Funny Wedding Bloopers | Fainting

Just wanted to share this great collection of wedding fainting mishaps. Enjoy!



(source)

DIY Scratch Off Tickets

DIY Scratch Off Tickets
DIY Scratch Off Tickets
DIY Scratch Off Tickets
Hey Brides! Spice up your bridal shower with these uber-creative DIY Scratch Off Tickets found over at iDIY. The simple ingredients (1 part liquid washing soap + 2 parts metallic paint) will allow any bride to easily create their own custom homemade scratch off tickets while adding a little excitement to the party. What a cool idea! Click here to see more.

diy wedding blogs

Rina di Montella - RB1707

Rina di Montella - RB1707
Stunning full skirt ball gown dress. With heavy Swarovski crystal bodice, sweetheart neckline. With split skirt and inset with exquisite lace section. Absolutely fabulous dress.
View original advert on The Dressmarket

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

World's First Start-up Wedding Registry

Instead of creating a "traditional" wedding registry for their bridal celebration, Drue Kataoka and Svetlozar Kazanjiev are asking their wedding guests to instead donate money through PayPal to get their start-up, Aboomba, off the ground. I guess that's better than 8 blenders? See their entire wedding registry here.

Alan Hannah - Dominique

Alan Hannah - Dominique
An exquiste chantilly lace bodice with Swarovski crystal beading and an A-line thai silk skirt, with lace hem detail.
View the original advert on The Dressmarket

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

My Thoughts On Hiring A Wedding Planner

"You don't just hire a wedding planner for what they do, you also hire them for what they know. Most brides only plan one wedding their entire lives while a wedding planner has the experience and understanding of coordinating numerous celebrations for each diverse individual client. Relying on a professional wedding planner to refine the details of the biggest day of your life is not only practical, it's an intelligent way of minimizing the opportunities for ineffectively handling any unforeseen situations that may arise."

Pronovias - Rialto

Pronovias - Rialto
DescriptionRialto by Pronovias, ivory royal satin gown with tulle insert and lace applique and beading, full a-line skirt with zip fastening and buttons and loops.
View the original advert on The Dressmarket

Monday, August 24, 2009

Serenity

Serenity
Full length silk ivory wedding dress. Fitted bodice and full skirt. Celtic knotwork embroidery on bodice and round edge of skirt. Matching wrap with embroidery.
View original advert on The Dressmarket

Couple Ties The Knot While Suspended From Hooks [GRAPHIC]

Talk about an EXTREME wedding! This couple took their nuptials to a whole new level by tying the knot...while suspended from hooks. Whoa! See more pics here.

Couple Ties The Know While Suspended From Hooks
Couple Ties The Know While Suspended From Hooks
Couple Ties The Know While Suspended From Hooks [GRAPHIC]

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Top 10 Online Resources Every Bride Should Know

Today's guest post comes courtesy of Kelly Oshiro from Kelly Oshiro Events

My name is Kelly Oshiro and I’m an event designer and wedding planner based in Santa Barbara. I write a blog called Santa Barbara Wedding Chic where I feature inspiration for the stylish destination bride. I think these online resources are a must for every bride to checkout throughout the planning process:

1. Snippet & Ink - Inspiration board heaven! Kathryn puts together the best boards that are sure to inspire you.wedding twitters follow

2. Style Me Pretty - serious eye candy for the stylish bride can be found here, along with their newly launched inspiration board builder!wedding twitters follow

3. A Practical Wedding - Sassy and smart, this blog is here to remind you that it’s not about the flowers, the location, or even the dress, but your wedding is about getting married to the one you love.wedding twitters follow

4. Martha Stewart Weddings - It’s Martha! Need I say more?wedding twitters follow

5. Once Wed - Stylist DIY projects, real weddings, and overall eye candy make this one beautiful blog. Best of all, you can list or buy used wedding dresses which is certainly easy on the budget.wedding twitters follow

6. Project Wedding - has a great forum so brides can share advice with one another, vendor reviews, and there are a ton of pictures to help you find inspiration for your big day.wedding twitters follow

7. Brooklyn Bride - This blog is for the modern, urban, bride. Vané goes out of her way to find the best modern vendors and real weddings to share with her readers.wedding twitters follow

8. Oh So Beautiful Paper - A blog featuring pretty paper goods, any bride struggling with invitations will be sure to find some inspiration here.wedding twitters follow

9. Blue Orchid Blog - written by wedding planner, Liene Stevens, the blog features loads of wedding planning tips and practical advice. wedding twitters follow

10. Weddingbee - other brides/bees share their stories as they go through the planning process. There’s also a Pro blog where vendors share tips and advice.wedding twitters follow

Click on the wedding twitters follow to follow on Twitter!


Kate Sherford - Louisa

Kate Sherford - Louisa
Blue taffeta gown with lace bodice and Swarovski crystal detail. A-line skirt with lace-up fastening.
View the original advert on The Dressmarket

Saturday, August 22, 2009

WeddingBee Looking For Next Generation Of Bride "Bees"

WeddingBee Looking For Next Generation Of Bride
WeddingBee Looking For Next Generation Of Bride WeddingBee, the super popular wedding website that is updated by real brides across the USA, has just launched their newest set of icons that will be used by the next generation of brides chosen to be part of the next "hive".

The theme this time around is: Junk Food

It seems like a lot of the current bride "bees" are getting married in the next few weeks, so they're looking for some new, fresh brides and grooms who are getting married through April 2010 to be part of their wedding blog. So if you’ve been on the fence about applying to the ’bee, now is a great time!

If you think you’d be a great addition, check out their guidelines and don't forget to follow @weddingbee on Twitter!

Ritva Westenius - Gilda

Ritva Westenius - Gilda
Elegant and very sophisticated. Gilda is a slim dress made from silk crepe, with a soft cowl neck and low draped back, finished with a delicate train.

View the original advert on The Dressmarket
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